Writings: The Parable of the Loving Father

By: Dr. Gregory S. Neal

Growing up with a brother was a mixed bag. Most of us who have siblings will admit that at times it’s great to have them, while at other times … well, it’s just not. Or, at least, it feels that way. Some people are blessed with really close relationships with their siblings; they’re almost like their best friends. But, other times – and especially if there are more than just a couple of years between them – there can be a vast distance. Sure, you love them. Mostly. But also, mostly, you would rather just keep them at arm’s length. That’s me and my brother, Chuck. Sure, we love each other; but, in truth, we’re two very different people. We don’t agree on much. In fact, we disagree about most things. We don’t talk … or, rather, I try to talk, but my brother mostly just grunts; and, when he does speak, his words are mostly filled with sarcasm, or anger, or bitterness, or all three.

Sometimes brothers can be very much alike. Other times, they can be very different people. And that fact is what gives today’s parable its strength. Today we have one of the most famous of Jesus’ parables. In this story we have the younger brother receiving an advance on his inheritance – that which he would have received when his father died – and departing for a far country. We must keep in mind that, in the culture of that place and time, a younger son would have received a minor inheritance upon his father’s death … assuming he received anything at all. It was the older son who would have received most of the inheritance: the lands, the livestock, the allegiance of the servants, most of the tangible property; therefore, it behooved him to stay at home and work because, someday, most of it would be his. On the other hand, it makes sense for the younger brother to try and receive some kind of gift from his father, and strike out on his own before his father died, thereby ensuring that he would at least get something as an inheritance.

Sadly, the younger son isn’t all that responsible with his money. He receives from his father his inheritance, then departs for “a far country,” where he wastes what he received in “dissolute living.” Or, at least, that’s how the NRSV renders it; we’re actually not told what he was doing with it, other than that he lost it. Sure, later in the parable the older son will characterize his younger brother’s activities in the most negative light possible: he claimed that the younger son had “devoured [the father’s] property with prostitutes.” Jesus’ narration of the story doesn’t give us these details, and even the English translation of “dissolute” is not accurate. The Greek language original of this story simply ays that the younger brother:
“…squandered his property in wasteful living.”

It’s the older brother’s later characterization that makes us, and even the translators, think that it was “party hearty all night long with plenty booze and whoopy.” It may have been that, but what it actually says is that he squandered his inheritance wastefully, profligately, senselessly, and so irresponsibly that he had nothing to show for it when he was done. Once his money was gone, and with times becoming desperate, the younger son eventually accepted the detestable job of feeding pigs in order to survive. Indeed, things had become so bad that even the slop he was feeding those pigs began to look appealing to him. Having reached the lowest point he could, he realizes that the employees in his father’s household live better than he’s now living. And so, he concludes that it would be better for him to go back home and work for his father. As he begins his journey, he plans what he’s going to say:

“Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.” (Luke 15:18-19)

He intends to confess to his Dad his failure and his sin. He doesn’t expect forgiveness; rather, from what he says to himself, it’s pretty clear that he expects to work and to eat, like a servant. Only, his father sees him coming when he’s still a long way off and runs out to meet him. The father embraces and kisses his son, welcoming him home, before his son has a chance to make his confession or ask for a job. And, indeed, even after his son makes his confession, the father pretty much ignores it.

“Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!” (Luke 15:22-24)

And it says that they began to celebrate … they had a party!

That’s where much of the preaching on this story concludes. I’ve heard many sermons on this parable that focus upon the sinner coming home, repenting of their sins, and being granted forgiveness. The father’s love in this story is understood to be a type of God’s love for us: when we return from our far countries and repent of our sins, God’s grace is present and ready to forgive. And, yes, there’s a party to celebrate our return! That’s a satisfying message to preach. I’ve preached it numerous times.

But, as Paul Harvey, used say: “What’s the rest of the story?”

Not everybody is celebrating. The older son has been working in the fields, and when he comes in at the end of a long day he hears the party that's been going on. When he calls a member of his father's staff over to ask what’s happening, he’s told that his little brother has returned and that their dad has welcomed him home with a great big party. And, as you might expect, the older son gets mad.

We feel a bit sorry for the older son. Or, at least, I do. Of course he gets mad! The younger son had already received his inheritance and had left with it. That Robe – the best one – the ring, the fatted calf, all of that which his father is now blowing in order to throw this party to welcome home the younger son … all of that was supposed to have been part of the older son’s inheritance! Why should the younger son now also get some of the stuff that was supposed to have been part of the older son’s future? So, of course the older son is angry! And the dad knows it. He comes out to retrieve his older son and bring into the party, but the older son isn't having it:

“Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!” (Luke 15:29-30)

While the story of the Prodigal Son coming home is a great one to preach, it’s the story of the Older Brother that often fits with where the church-world is today. Think about it: we’ve been here all along, we’ve sat in these pews, served on countless committees, been good church-goers and givers. Why should those who come in now, after being out playing and doing their own thing … why should they get what we've earned? Why should they be allowed to take part in leadership? Why should they be forgiven and accepted, even though they don’t measure up to our standards of how we think they ought to act? Doesn't that sound familiar? "Oh, we can make the prodigal children into employees or servants, but don’t give them what we deserve! Make ‘em earn it!" Ouch … I know … that doesn’t sound too good, does it? But … that’s the attitude of the older brother. And, that’s far too often the attitude of a lot of church-folk these days.

But even this isn’t all of the rest of the story. What does the loving father say to his angry, unhappy, self-centered son?

“Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.” (Luke 15:31-32)

Yes, the younger son had run off, had wasted all of his inheritance, and now he’s back and Dad is throwing him a party. Sadly, now the older son is just as far away from the Dad – at least metaphorically – as the younger son had been; now it’s the older son who is wasting the Father’s love for him, wallowing in his own self-pity and anger. But, amazingly, the Father still loves him.

In the UMC we’re seeing what some have called a “divorce,” a split, a fracturing of the denomination between the conservatives, on the one hand, and the centrists and progressives on the other. The break-up is usually depicted as being the result of one group who, having run off to a “far country” of various beliefs or behaviors, is now is being welcomed back into leadership with warmth and grace … and the other group isn’t happy about it. And, yet, in our version of this parable the truth is that both have remained in the family, both have served and worked and given and been present; and both have tended to view the other as being “far off.”

And, now, one side – the conservatives – are beginning to depart and our loving Divine Parent – God – is hurting … just like the father in this story was hurting when his older son wouldn’t come in and join the party. It’s the love of the father in this story - it’s the love of our Divine Parent - that’s the real focus of this story … and of our story, too. It's not so much about the younger son, who runs off and wastes his inheritance; it's not so much about the older son, who stays home but is still distant and, now, is wasting his father’s love. It’s the story of the father, who goes out to meet both of his sons: he goes to meet his younger son when his son is still on his way home; and, he leaves the party to go out and implore his older son to come in and join the party. Yes, this is our story, too.

This story reminds us that God is always moving toward us. God is always reaching out to us. God is always meeting us where we are and welcoming us into the party. We may be pulling away from each other, like the brothers in this story … and we are … but God is still reaching out toward us all.

And, yes, the older sibling may not want the younger sibling to receive forgiveness, or acceptance, or inclusion. And the younger may be afraid of the older because older siblings sometimes pick on younger siblings. The younger brother in this story knows he needs grace. Sadly, the older brother doesn’t appear to realize that he needs just as much grace. And, now, he is just as much estranged from the father as the younger one had been … even though he’d never left.

That’s where we are as a denomination. The UMC is caught in the midst of a family fight; we’ve been at it for decades, and now that we’re to the point that those who had been thought of as being away in a far country – but really have been here, all along, serving, worshipping, and giving – are going to be included in the party, those who have been in positions of power and inheritance are mad. They want to leave. They certainly don’t want to join the party. But the Loving Divine Parent, our Eternal Mother and Father God, loves us both anyway.

© 2022, Dr. Gregory S. Neal
All Rights Reserved