Writings: What's Love Got To Do With It?

By: Dr. Gregory S. Neal

“Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” (John 21:15)

I love this song:

“We are one in the Spirit we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity will someday be restored
And they’ll will know we are Christians by our love
By our Love
Yes they’ll know we are Christians by our Love.”

This old song was written by Peter Scholtes way back in 1966, the year before I was born. It has nearly become a universally accepted reminder to us that it’s love that we are called to have for others, the love of God that we are called to share, the love of Christ that motivates our religious action, our social inclusion, our cultural witness … love.

“Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”

It’s the love of God in Jesus Christ that motivates our very being. It’s the love of God for us:

For you
For me
For the lost
For the found
For those who are in
For those who are out
For the Poor
For the Rich
For the Blacks, Browns, Asians, Whites
For the marginalized and the privileged.

It’s the love of God for the whole world, without exception, that brought Jesus into the world and carried him through this painful thing that we call life, and to the cross, to face the scariest thing that all of us will ever have to face – death. It’s the love of God that it’s all about.

“Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”

They’ll know we are Christians:
Not by what we believe
Not by how we articulate what we believe
Not by our Doctrines
Not by our Rules and Regulations
Not by our Educational Degrees
And, most certainly,
Not by our judgment, our exclusion, or our purity of membership.
But by our Love.
By our Love.

“Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”

This question from Jesus echoes to us from the end of John’s Gospel, reminding us that it’s all about love: loving God and loving our neighbor; loving as we have been loved; forgiving as we have been forgiven; giving as we have received. But we’re not always ready and willing to live in love, are we? It wasn’t easy for Peter, starting out, to accept that it's all about love. Indeed, one element that isn’t obvious to those who are reading John 21:15-19 in English is that there is a difference in the Greek words used for “love.” In vs. 15 Jesus asks Peter:

“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” [Peter] said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”

Jesus is depicted as using the Greek word agape, while Peter responds using the Greek word fileo. Although most English translations render both Greek words with the English equivalent word “love,” the distinction between the two Greek words is more than just a stylistic one: the word agape means the high, ultimate form of love; on the other hand, the word fileo has a much weaker connotation. As I’ve said before, agape means “considering the needs of the other as being more important than, or essential to, your own needs.” By contrast, fileo simply means “to have affection for,” or “to consider someone a friend,” or “to like.” While both Jesus and Peter were speaking Aramaic at the time, the Greek author of John’s Gospel is trying to show that Peter wasn’t quite able to respond to Jesus’ call for agape with agape.

In the very next verse, Jesus gives Peter a second opportunity to respond with agape:

“Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” (John 21:16)

Again, we have the mismatching word-choice: Jesus asks Peter for agape, but Peter responds with fileo. It’s as if Peter has reached the point where he can express affection for Jesus, appreciation for who Jesus is, and fidelity to Jesus’ call on his life, but for some reason he’s not yet capable of expressing the same kind of self-giving love that characterized Jesus’ very being. And, so, after asking Peter twice, Jesus asks him a third time … but with a subtle change:

“Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” (John 21:17)

The change is to be found in the Greek word Jesus uses; rather than agape, Jesus asks Peter if he has fileo for him. In other words, since Peter has twice failed to respond with agape, Jesus reaches down to where Peter is and asks him if he has fileo for him. The passage says that Peter was hurt because of this, but his response is no different than before: “you know that I fileo you.”

Just as with Peter, Jesus doesn’t leave us where we are; Jesus accepts us where and as we are, but then brings us along. And, we are called to do the same with others.

“They will know we are Christians by our love.”

Many of our sisters and brothers in the conservative wing of the UMC have decided to depart our denomination for the newly launched GMC (the “Global Methodist Church”). There’s a piece of me that would like to say to them: “goodbye, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” But no. Oh, the carnal part of me would love to say that. But no. Instead, I pray for them. We must pray for them, and for ourselves; we must pray for us all. We are called to share God’s love, just as God shared love with us in the incarnation and birth, the life and ministry, the sacrifice and death and resurrection of Jesus; just as God shares God’s love with us through the sacrament of Holy Communion – a sacrament of inclusion, welcoming, and nourishing love – we are called to share God’s love with others … including, especially, those with whom we disagree. And even though, like Peter and myself and others, we’re not quite there yet, it is nevertheless our hope that, by the grace of Jesus, we will make it there … we'll make it to the point where we will respond to Christ’s agape with agape.

“Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our Love.”

By the love of God that we have received and are called to reflect to all.

“And we pray that our unity will someday be restored.
Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

Amen. That’s what I’m praying today.

“Simon son of John, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.”

Then feed my lambs … then tend my sheep. That’s what we’re called to do. We are called to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves.

© 2022 Dr. Gregory S. Neal
All Rights Reserved